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By Kayla McClurg Recently three of my friends, who don’t know each other, separately confessed to me the same unsettling issue in their lives. If one person had confided this issue, I might not have noticed, but when two and then three spoke it aloud in just a matter of days - and during a period when so many things in our world seemed to be spinning out of control - I knew to listen, as St. Benedict says, “with the ear of my heart.” Each one took a deep breath, gathered her courage and admitted something more or less like this: “I am so in love with life right now. So contented and peaceful. I’m not sure what to make of it, but I think I’m happier than I’ve ever been.” Outwardly I tried to appear calm and non-judgmental, but I admit that inwardly I was a bit rocked by these confessions. I’m more accustomed to hearing about the insidious ways worry and fear and other forms of ‘not-happiness’ show up in our lives. About the anxiety that scrapes at our doors in the middle of the night, about the sense that there isn’t enough love and peace in our world and in our hearts, about the separation we’re experiencing where we long for connection. I’m not used to hearing about … shhh … happiness. Being too happy has never been one of my primary problems. I have a greater natural affinity for Eeyore - Winnie-the-Pooh’s cloudy friend - than the bubbly! buoyant! happy! crowd. And I admit I’ve tended to think that anyone who feels happy! these days must not be paying attention. “Like, hello?! Read a newspaper lately?” Feeling anxious reassures me that at least I’m not in denial. But with these three friends I knew I was up against something different. They are intelligent, compassionate and spiritually alert women who are aware of life’s complexities and struggles. They care about others and have been known to worry and fret with the best of us. Without question, they’re paying attention - and yet, even so, they find themselves experiencing not anxiety but contentment and peace. Hmm…. Now you might think my immediate response would have been to get at the WHY and the HOW … trying to discover the path to the secret they’ve accessed, trying to apply it to my own life and offer it to you. But no, what I noticed first was that beneath each confession was a good bit of something like embarrassment. As if her true quandary wasn’t, “How do I continue to enjoy and share this state of being?” but “Is it ok to feel this way? Knowing what we know about our world - war, poverty, torture, hunger, genocide, loneliness, addiction, hatred - is it ok to be happy? Or am I out of touch with what really matters? Am I too comfortable with my life?” With everything in me, I want to believe that it really is possible to care about the world, not hiding from any of it, AND to experience what they’re experiencing. I want that inner calm and comfort for us all. But like my friends, I know that others’ immense suffering can make being happy in my own life feel an awful lot like some kind of spacey illusion, a lie I tell myself so I can disconnect from the privilege and responsibility of being God’s companion in the suffering. I don’t think that’s what was happening here, but I find myself wondering with them: IS it permissible to be happy and at peace - comfortable - when so many aren’t? IS there anything wrong with that? Kayla McClurg is on staff at The Church of the Saviour and coordinates inward/outward.
Original content by: http://www.inwardoutward.org/?p=234.
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